My wife and I wished for normal healthy children. We never thought that God would send His angels to be part of our lives. He only took away their wings and put them in our flesh and blood much like the creation of Eve from one of Adam’s ribs.
Archive for November, 2006
Dated 2nd of August, 2004
Written on a Monday
A weighing scale held by a blindfolded lady, justice as an infatuation in the middle of a crossroad. The measuring tip of a weighing scale is where we all begin. Our judge is our heart, always unfair and blind but no matter what we risk it all. You may never experience love without a mate, a partner, or a companion. Not unless you bring up the argument about the man who fell deeply in love with himself, Narcissus. He is the origin of the term narcissistic love, meaning vanity. Of course, in the end he died looking at his reflection over the water where he remained. Vanity, love in its selfish form. They say love is the torment of one, the happiness of two and the enmity of three, which I believe is nearer to the truth. Narcissus could have been tormented by the fact that he is so beautiful that he cannot find his mate. I think he was afraid, afraid to have moved to the other end of the weighing scale, afraid to leave the middle of the crossroad.
Anyone could be your mate regardless of appearance and status in life. It will not matter if your mate is of gold and you of stone for as long as the tip of the weighing scale is in the centre. However, pain and betrayal is not out of the picture and all can live happily ever after. There are other factors to consider, more problems to come. A weighing scale is like a boat, it rocks on certain occasions. The wind may blow hard enough to disturb the balance and the harmony but the point is that no matter what the factor or the problem is, sooner or later the weighing scale will calm and balance again. It is just a matter of holding on and not falling out.
You might say then that one way to avoid pain is unconditional love, giving without expecting in return. In my opinion only a child could provide this kind of love. Even parents cannot give unconditional love to their own children. They will always have expectations and for that I would say no man that has wisdom could ever give unconditional love. You will always expect from the person you are giving your love to. Everyone would want love to be reciprocated, a slight response that your feelings are noticed or appreciated. Even the one who made the universe wants something from us so do not be such a fool and naive. Even the happiest couples have fights, hurt each other but the beauty of it is when they reconcile. “Life is pain, get used to it,” quoted from the movie “Long Kiss Goodnight.” Whether you like it or not, you will get hurt one-way or the other. Imagine a life, a love so perfect so to speak; always happy and content like an unending dream in paradise. Will you really be happy? Will it get you jaded?
It might be safe to say that you must not set yourself for disappointment and avoid expectations. But then again, it is the only way to remain conscious on the things we do. Love unconditionally and I tell you, you will feel the weight pulling you down. Unconditional love only means one thing, the person is not meant for you; otherwise, he could have returned the favor. Blessing may come in various ways, win the lottery perhaps but that is not the thing that would make you happy rather to know that the person you love also loves you back. It is not like you are collecting what is suppose to be yours but what is the meaning of staying if your presence remains unnoticed. Wait no more and move on, find your mate. The possibility of getting hurt along the way may seem unavoidable but each time you do, pick up your feet, only then you will notice that you are moving in a faster pace making you a lot stronger than before. Also remember to seize moments that mean something to you, if not, things may pass unnoticed and it is not a good thing. Linger but not too long, you may not catch your destiny if it is ahead of you. My point is simple; love is the one thing always worth fighting for. Always listen to your heart for it is the weighing scale of all things.
In this rotten world we’re in
Strangers we have been
We’ve found treasures within
Friends we’ve never seen
Strangers we used to fight
To make this world small
Of selfishness and might
Until as friends we crawl
Friends we do good deeds
To conserve our loves soul
Such when we were kids
We think nothing at all.
Dated 28th of July, 2004
Written on a Wednesday
“So many things to do yet so little time to spend.” A famous line most of us know. True, many things are more likely to be done. It only depends how important it is to the person. The ones who values money, no time wasted is worth gold. This person believes that time is gold, of course, taking gold literally in its meaning. But for the less ambitious, gold is not a possession that this person considers as riches. It is what everybody wants, happiness.
It always strikes me whenever I am working all alone in a corner or in a large office with a great view of the Mediterranean Sea and hardly a soul to talk to. Yes, even if I am paid well, the point is you stop growing as person. Let me ask you something; “What is the greatest thing that time can offer?” Wealth? Come on think harder! Of course, it is wisdom. And you cannot wisdom if you are only facing the computer, typing, and browsing. Wisdom requires interaction with other people, actual people. It often requires mistakes even if the case is you do one mistake over and over again. Every time you commit mistakes even the same ones you already did, believe me, there is always a lesson waiting to be learned.
Wisdom is knowledge in application but not likely. There are two types of knowledge basing on what I know. One is passed unto you and the other is a lesson learned all on your own. Some old people I know have not wisdom at all; it is because they have wasted too much time. The youth of today knows more about heartaches and relationships than the ones ahead. However, there is one fault to my argument… no matter how experienced we are, we still need to age before we learn more. So believe me, the words of the old are the words of the wise. Sometimes it is a different case really; it is the amount of trials that comes your way. But then again, commit the same mistake and yet learn a new lesson from it. It is because every situation is unique. There are a lot of things to consider in a situation, the persons involved, the time it happened, where it happened, and the rest of the wives and the husband. Everything may seem the same sometimes, but the one factor that is unique is time. You may propose to the same girl over and over again but it is time that varies in the equation making the situation unique. It sums up hope, the hope that the tides have changed and the feelings renewed. That is why wasting time is letting “the moment” pass by. Seize the moment and wonder no more what could have happened. Quit your job if you have to and find another career as long as you will gain personal growth. Happiness is the key to a life not wasted. Endure all the pain that mistakes causes and remember this… never ever give up in seizing the moment for eternity may be at hand.
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